Did you know approximately 25% percent of all pregnancies will end in miscarriage? Probably not. Much like its evil twin – infertility – pregnancy loss is a taboo subject usually experienced in secrecy. However, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend recently put it very much in the spotlight.
The celebrity couple are very open on their social media, often sharing photos of their children and things going on in their lives. Kind of like us regular folks do. They had been giving fans updates about their third pregnancy; including when they started having complications around halfway through the pregnancy. Then came the photo that stopped fans in their tracks. A black and white photo of a tearful Teigen with a heartbreaking caption:
“We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough. . .”
In one of the most deeply personal and gut wrenching moments a couple could experience, they shared with the world the devastation of losing their precious baby. Four black and white, grief filled photos.
I don’t usually follow celebrities. But this post stopped me in my tracks.
Whether you like the couple or not, in this case, is not relevant. The magnitude of what they did cannot be overstated. Pregnancy loss happens to one quarter of all pregnancies, yet it’s shrouded in secrecy. Why? The answer is simple. It makes people uncomfortable. Women didn’t talk about “things like that” years ago. They just dealt with it in private and moved on.
But don’t you think the more people talk about it, the more it would help those going through it deal with their grief? A pregnancy loss affects so many people. It’s like dropping a pebble into still water and watching the ripples. The parents at the center, but grandparents, siblings, family and friends are all affected. By talking about it, we can make those experiencing it feel less isolated and less alone.
Whenever a celebrity shares something online, people react. The reaction to this post was immediate. Mostly positive messages of support or sympathy. But a few questioned why Teigen and Legend would take photos of such a grief filled personal moment; and why they would share them so publicly. The answer is really simple.
Because it happened.
Because life is not a fairy tale with happy endings.
Because one quarter of all pregnancies will end.
Because everyone deals with grief differently and to some these pictures are the first step in healing.
One day this unimaginable pain may happen to another couple, but hopefully they may find the courage to open up about it.
Why share something so personal?
Let’s be clear. To share something so personal, of this magnitude, is incredibly brave. To give a voice to a topic shushed for generations’ takes courage. So if you see a friend or family member share their loss on social media, remember that 25% of all pregnant moms will not go home with baby and acknowledge their pain.
To Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, thank you for being brave enough to share your loss with the world. You’ve helped pave the way for greater understanding and helped lift the silence around miscarriage.
We are so sorry for your loss.
Photos: @chrissyteigen • Instagram photos
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We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough. . . We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever. . . To our Jack – I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you. . . Thank you to everyone who has been sending us positive energy, thoughts and prayers. We feel all of your love and truly appreciate you. . . We are so grateful for the life we have, for our wonderful babies Luna and Miles, for all the amazing things we’ve been able to experience. But everyday can’t be full of sunshine. On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it.
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