For many people, the focus during IVF is getting to the point where there are embryos to transfer. Few imagine what it might feel like to one day have more embryos than they need. Yet for many families, this is a reality—and with it comes a mix of emotions, questions, and choices that can feel overwhelming.

If you are facing this decision, please know: you are not alone. These feelings are valid, and the path forward does not need to be rushed.

The Emotional Weight of Stored Embryos

Embryos are not just frozen cells. For many patients, IVF embryo storage represents hope, identity, and the potential futures you’ve dreamed about. For some, they feel like a safety net—a “maybe baby” waiting in storage. For others, they represent difficult “what-ifs” and unanswered questions.

It’s not unusual to feel conflicted. What once seemed straightforward (“we only want one child” or “we’ll donate the extras”) may feel different once you’ve held a baby in your arms, or as your values shift with time. Outside voices—religious beliefs, cultural messages, or even language like “leftover embryos”—can add layers of pressure and guilt.

The truth is, there is no single “right” way to feel about your embryos. Your emotions may change, and that doesn’t mean you’re indecisive—it means you’re human.

Options for Remaining Embryos

When you’re ready, it can help to know the choices available. Each option comes with its own emotional and practical considerations:

• Continue Storage
  You may choose to keep your embryos stored at your clinic or another facility for an annual fee. This type of IVF embryo storage keeps the door open for future family growth or simply gives you more time to decide.
• Compassionate Transfer
  This involves working with your medical team to thaw and transfer embryos at a time when pregnancy is very unlikely. While not every clinic offers a compassionate transfer of embryos, for some it feels like a respectful way to let go.
• Disposition
  If you and your partner (if applicable) are certain your family is complete, you may decide to have the embryos disposed of by your clinic. While this often brings relief from ongoing storage fees, it can still stir up emotions of loss or finality.
• Donation to Research
  Some people find meaning in contributing to scientific or medical progress. Donating embryos to research can advance treatments and knowledge, though you’ll need to confirm whether your clinic or agreements allow this option.
• Donation to Another Family
  Embryo donation allows your embryos to be used by someone else hoping to grow their family. This can feel like a beautiful gift, though it’s also a very personal decision that not everyone feels comfortable making.

Questions to Ask Yourself

Deciding what to do with remaining embryos can take time. These questions may help you reflect:

• What do these embryos mean to me—possibility, hope, children, biology, something else?
• Am I delaying the decision because I need more time, or because I fear the finality of choosing?
• If I picture myself 10 years from now, which choice would feel most at peace with my values?
• How do I feel in my body—not just in theory—when I imagine each option?

These questions don’t require immediate answers. They’re simply tools to help you connect with your own truth.

You Don’t Have to Decide Alone

It’s common for partners to see things differently, or for individuals to feel conflicted. Working with a mental health professional experienced in fertility can provide a safe space to talk through emotions, values, and possible next steps.

Kris Bevilacqua, Ph.D., the clinical psychologist at Genesis Fertility says,

“Patients don’t need to rush into deciding. I know the consent form has a space for embryo disposition, which they sign at the time of retrieval.  However, I think patients feel reassured when we tell them nothing will happen to their embryos until they tell us what to do.  I tell patients to wait until their child is about a year old before deciding about disposition.  They may decide their child is so perfect that they are ready to do it again. Or their child is so perfect, they couldn’t possibly be that lucky twice.  Usually, it’s the storage fees that push them to decide.”

A Gentle Reminder

There is no perfect decision—only the one that feels most aligned with your story, your values, and your peace of mind. Whether you’re weighing frozen embryo options or considering embryo disposition decisions, what matters most is finding the path that brings you peace.

If you are in this space right now, be kind to yourself. Give yourself the same compassion you’d give to a close friend. And remember: whatever you choose, you are honoring the incredible strength it took to get here.